Days 628 - 630: Pain Tolerance

I consider myself lucky. Compared to most people, I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I think this must be the case for most serious runners and endurance athletes in general. I have run two distance races with what I found out later was severely fractured bones in my left leg and a shattered knee cap. I often push myself past my comfortable limits with my race training. I'm used to feeling tired, sore, achy, cramped, winded, broken, beat, and like a thousand knives are slowly cutting through my legs, back, and gut because of running. I'm used to that. That is normal for me.

So when the doctor I saw for my on-going back/hip problem suggested giving a cortisone shot a try, I said, 'yeah sure, if it'll help heal this running injury so I can do my race Saturday, I'll try anything.' Someone should probably note here that those words will be the death of me. But if you remember back a few posts, I had received a cortisone shot in my foot for tendinitis, so I knew what it would feel like. Both fortunately and unfortunately, my brain and body forgets what pain feels like after it has passed. Now looking back I know that for several days post-foot/tendon-shot, I was feeling pretty awful. My foot ached and hurt and was super sore. Well, by the time I was in the doctor's office Monday, I'd forgotten all about that and all I could think about was my race this Saturday.

Now I'm going to take a minute and give you some insider info on me: I. Hate. Needles. Ever since I was a little kid, I've hated needles more than anything else. I don't know why but something about it every time makes me sick to my stomach. You may find this amusing coming from someone with two tattoos, and seriously contemplating a third, but needles really freak me out. I can't look at them or see them or I will physically fight off the doctor before they get a chance to do their job. I'm not kidding. When I was a kid, we used to have this obese nurse come in and basically sit on me while my doctor gave me my annual shots. I am pretty sure that as a youngster I tried to kill most of my doctors if they had a needle in their hands. Haha! It's irrational, childish, and pathetic, I know. But I really Really do not like needles.

So now I was sitting there for about 20 minutes waiting for the room to get prepped (I think someone else was in there before me, hence the wait) with all the time in the world to process that I was going to get a shot of cortisone injected into the spot in my back that hurt. I could feel that same old childish anxiety coming on. But luckily, it's been about 20+ years since anyone has sat on my to give me a shot, so I knew I could handle it. But I was nervous. Finally they brought me back and had me lay face down on this table with a huge imaging machine above me. The nurse kept telling me to look forward at the pretty picture. I felt like I was five again. Hold. It. Together.

So she prepped my back with iodine and got all the instruments set up. I could hear the needles clinking around on the table and my stomach kept turning over and over again. She explained the process and how the doctor would inject the cortisone with this imaging device that allows him to see the SI joint so he can be sure to put the needle exactly in the right spot. I wanted to puke. She then explained that she was putting some numbing stuff on the skin, so he could put the first needle (I'm thinking 'HOLY SHIT THERE IS MORE THAN ONE NEEDLE!!??!!) with the lidocaine-novocaine type stuff in and numb the area up so it won't be painful. This makes me feel a tad better. She spent what felt like 15 days rustling about with the instruments and then goes to get the doctor. In that 3 minutes I was alone, I contemplated just leaving. But I am an adult now, and adults get cortisone shots in their backs without being wussies.

When the doctor came in, he got right down to business. In went needle #1 with the local anesthetic. It felt like a pinch, like when you get the shot in your mouth at the dentist's office. It's not pleasant, but you can handle it. So then he's looking at the imaging machine, and talking to me about the procedure, and explaining stuff, and then 'annnn here comes number two.' WHA-BAM! Have you ever been hit in the face with a basketball? Or punched in the chest and had the wind knocked out of you? or something like that where what you feel is an intense amount of pressure, it's not exactly pain at first just a ton of pressure that surprises the shit out of you? Well it's like that. There was a ton of pressure, which on my severely inflamed SI joint did NOT feel nice. I bite the crap out of my lip trying to redirect my focus. After what felt like forever, there was a surge of pressure and pain (to which I pushed my fists into my eyes and said, 'oh shit!') and then it was over.

I swear that after this the doctor apologized like 3 times and the nurse began to wipe my back with antiseptic stuff, and put on a band-aid, but I don't remember any of it. I was in so much unpleasantness (you can't really call it pain), I thought I was going to throw up. I do, however, at some point while getting the shot remember saying to the doctor, "It's funny because I am so good at processing unintentional self-inflicted pain, but if someone else is causing the pain it's unbearable." And that much is very true. I can run on fractured legs, but God-forbid I need to get a shot; I can barely handle it. Afterwards the doctor explained that if this doesn't feel much better in about 2 weeks that I'll need to go get an MRI because it may not be just SI joint inflammation, but a herniated disk and sciatica. So that really brightened my day. All that pain, for nothing? So while feeling slightly defeated, I went back to work, and throughout the rest of my day hoping that the cortisone would kick in really soon....

But apparently, I completely forgot what happened the experience of after I got the cortisone shot in my foot, and this bring us to where we are today. So after receiving said shot, one will likely experience 'steroid flare', a condition in which the injected cortisone crystallizes and causes severe pain. Now I am quoting this from a medical website: "This pain is much worse than the pain experienced by the patient before the shot. Physicians suggest the use of ice packs for relief after a shot. The pain lasts for about 24 - 48 hours, but the patients feel greater relief after the pain subsides." FML. By the time I went to sleep Monday night, I could not bend over to untie my shoes. I could not lay on my back. I was in so much pain. But I was under the impression (for who-knows what reason) that  by morning all would be better. And while it still hurt, the next morning it did feel better.

But of course as the day progressed, it worsened. Sitting down was immensely uncomfortable. I found that by 20 minutes, the pain has become unbearable. Then when I would stand up, I'd feel a rush of pain emanating from my lower back that made me feel so weak, I'd have to steady myself with my desk. Then walking hurts, but after 10 minutes I am good. Standing up seems to be the only way I don't have pain, but is kind of hard to do at a desk, plus you get really tired doing that. So upon finding out about this 'steroid flare,' I then knew that I hade about 24 more hours to go with the pain. I kept telling myself that I'd be fine, because I always make it through these things and turn up great afterwards. But in the mean time, I was sniveling and whining away at my desk, hoping I could muster the strength to gut it out for another day.

My point? I don't have one. Cortisone hurts. It also helps (supposedly). But right now, I just want my body back to normal so that I can run my race on Saturday.